• Hey dickheads with cell phones, can you put them away while you're driving, please? I don't want to be killed by your carelessness. You miserable cocksuckers.
• You know one time when I was in college and I was working at the dealership for my internship, my Lead Tech and I were replacing some valve cover gaskets on a car and he had trouble tightening a bolt. After he was done he said "You better be tight bitch!" I found that particular phrase amusing. You better be tight bitch. That works in so many other situations. Of course it's hard to find a tight Vuh J J when you have a tiny dick.
• Does your asshole ever itch? I'm serious, your rusty brown ring, Does it ever itch? Mine does 2, 3 times a week. And I feel weird scratching it because it's my asshole. I feel like I'm trying to finger myself. And it always itches when I'm in a public setting. Rarely at home. You can't be hanging out at a bar with your friends while you have your hand down the back of your pants, scratching your asshole.