OK, enough of this depressing bullshit. How about another "Kirk" story? Alright so one time we went to Crown and got sloppy drunk. I know that doesn't narrow it down too well. Anyways, we leave and I'm driving. For some reason I decide to take the long way to Kirk's house. We were probably listening to BLS or Trivium or something like that. So I turn down a side road and we're just rolling through a residential neighborhood, when I notice familiar headlights approaching from behind me. I freak out. I ask Kirk if it looked like Crown Victoria headlights. His response was "I don't know man, my eyes are too blurry, I can't see straight." Thanks! You're a lot of help man. So I'm like "Watch this shit" and I pulled into a random driveway. The car passed and it was a Statey! HA! Fuck him. But Kirk had the idea that if he drove back by and saw us both still in the car he might get suspicious. So we got out and ran behind the house to watch for the Statey to come back by. We also decided to relieve ourselves while we were back there. Then all of a sudden we hear a dog barking crazily, Kirk freaks out and I go back to my car. It was the owner of the house and he was pissed. He was shouting all kinds of profanity at me and his dog was going berserk. I got in my car to leave but Kirk was nowhere to be found. I called for him and left. I told the owner I must have had the wrong house. But I was gone. I went down the road and pulled over to call Kirk. I asked him where he was and he said he didn't know. I told him I was in the street and to come find me so we could get the fuck out of there before the owner called the Cops. That was a crazy time. We went from dodging one bullet to almost getting hit by another.

All of my stories are true, I don't fabricate anything. It's funnier if it's true. Like my chainsaw story, it's a good one too.