Merry Christmas

Enjoy your Christmas everyone!! Fuck that Happy Holidays shit, or Season's Greetings bullshit.

MERRY CHRISTMAS

Christmas Picture Postings

Again, I love these motivational posters. I'm still trying to get enough of them together to have 3 or 4 days worth of motivational poster updates. But I want good ones, so I'm weeding out the lame ones. Enjoy!

Christmas Picture Postings

I included this picture today because strangely I found this woman attractive. I've never been attracted to women whose arms are bigger than mine, but there is something about her. I think it's her smile. I don't know, what do you guys think?

Christmas Picture Postings

Tony Soprano, 'nuff said.

Christmas Picture Postings

Chaney's Got A Gun

I thought this would be funny, but I'm not so sure now.

Christmas Picture Postings

Now, if I could be serious for a moment. Kids, Don't Do Drugs! Hey if you gotta try them to understand why, I can deal with that. But look what may come. Slumped over in a dirty garage next to a dirty shovel. Who looks at something like this and decides, "I want to be a junkie"? So if it only takes one try to get hooked, and getting hooked could lead to this, I'll pass. Call me a pussy, but I won't look like this asshole. I'd rather be a pussy, than be a junkie. And if you're at this point, or close to this point, please seek immediate help. If you were once like this, or on your way to this and you were able to defeat this demon, I applaud you. It takes tremendous will power and heart to kick a drug habit. I salute you. Say no to drugs. Except weed, it's OK.

Christmas Picture Postings

Can anyone guess why I thought this one was funny?

Christmas Picture Postings

HOUSE

Christmas Picture Postings

I thought this pic was hilarious because of the black guy in it. I'll bet he is saying "DAAAAAMN!!!!"

Christmas Picture Postings

I have no idea where this pic came from, but I like it, and I thought someone else might like it too. I just found it on the computer, so.....Enjoy!

Christmas Picture Postings

This pic goes with the one below it. We need to drop a huge fucking bomb on these towel heads. And I'm serious about that. I like to use racial slurs for shock value, but fuck these sand niggers. And I mean it. Camel fucking towel head sand nigger motherfuckers. Let's nuke them and turn all that sand into glass, and then maybe we'll be able to find Osama Bin Laden. Jihad durka, durka, jihad durka. (Team America reference for you)

Christmas Picture Postings

Here's to hoping all of our troops over seas put a few bullets in the heads of shitbags like this. And let's all hope they have a safe Christmas and are able to come home soon. Support Our Troops. You don't have to support the war, but you have to Support Our Troops!

Christmas Picture Postings

This here may be another great gift idea. Flasher Panties. Now your girlfriend/fiancee/wife/bff doesn't actually have to be a whore to look like one. Just slip on a pair of these erotic panties and Presto! Instant ho-bag. And if you look, they even come in different hair colors to match every woman. Like guys really care what color the fucking hair is. Plus I think the assholes are a nice touch too. Happy shopping!

Christmas Shopping Ideas

One last thing before I go, since it's almost Christmas. If there is a special lady in your life and can't quite figure out what to get her, look no further. Guaranteed to give you both hours of fun. So enjoy this wonderful Christmas gift idea. And yes, that's right I said Christmas gift idea. Not Holiday gift idea. For 1, "Holiday" just sounds too weak. And 2, Go Fuck Yourself if you don't like Christmas. You fucking heathens.

Neighborhood Hijinx Continued

So, fucking "Hep Head Bob" got a DUI the other night like a jackass. Lost his car, lost his license. He might even lose his job because he has no car. And the fuck was only half a mile away from home. He got so smashed watching a football game, that he got nailed on his way home. Then when he finally got home from the police station he realized that he left his cell phone in the back seat of the police cruiser that brought him home. So at 3:30 in the fucking morning he was knocking on my door because he needed a phone to call the police department to get his phone back. Do you see why I want to shit on his front door step? The best part is, the court looked back at all the other DUIs he has had and now he has to do a bid. He is going to have to spend 20 days in jail. Hopefully 20 days of beatings and forced sodomy. Actually he'd probably willingly blow somebody for protection. He'd just have to refer back to the skills he learned when he was younger. Or what he learned while he was in the Navy. HAHA!

More Neighborhood Hijinx

Remember when I said I wanted to shit on "Hep Head Bob's" front door? Well I also thought it would be funny to piss on his door in freezing weather. Try to freeze his door shut. Or just piss on his porch and let it freeze. Then tell him there is someone giving out free beer to people with food stamps. He would come running out and hit that frozen piss. That would be outstanding! Watching him slip and fall. I'd laugh and say "That nigga got broke!" He's white but I'd still call him a nigga. He'd start cussing and he'd threaten to pour a beer on someone. What a bitch. What a bitch ass sucka ass nigga.

And on the topic of "Hep Head Bob", he has told us about how he has fallen on some hard times in the past. Well I am willing to bet that he has committed a few gay acts in his day. Either for drugs or money, or both for that matter. I am also willing to bet that he knows how to suck a dick better than most women. He's probably given a few "Rusty Trombones" in his day as well. I just want to go up to him and ask him how much he charged to let a guy fuck him in the ass? I think he probably really got hepatitis from either a used syringe or unprotected butt sex. Cowboy butt sex. He was trying to make a few butt babies. He needed some milk for his chocolate factory, if you know what I mean?

Another Public Service Announcement.

This is for all of you guys out there. Since they don't actually come with these warnings, I thought I'd let you know. Keep this shit in mind fellas!

Huh?

Ever heard of the Misfits? It's a legendary horror punk band from the late 70s/early 80s that was once fronted by Glenn Danzig? They took their name from Marylin Monroe's last film. Anyways, I love the Misfits. I love all the old stuff and I love the newer stuff that they put out after Danzig left the band and Jerry and Doyle put the band back together in the mid 90s with front man Michale Graves. In fact I really love Michale Graves, he has an awesome voice. Whatever, I sense you are looking for the point of all this. Years ago when I was younger I fell in love with "American Psycho" one of their first CDs I ever bought. And my dad and I have always had similar music tastes, so I thought he may like it too. So one day we were going somewhere and I brought the CD with us so we could listen to it in his car. After a few songs I asked him what he thought. He said "It's a little too Grunge for me." I was like, "What?!" This is punk, pure and simple. What the fuck do you mean it's too grunge for you? So we end up listening to the radio instead and a Nirvana song comes on and my dad goes "This is a good song." and turns it up! When you think of grunge music who comes to mind? Pearl Jam, Alice In Chains, Soundgarden, fucking NIRVANA! And then a few weeks later he goes out and buys Soundgarden's "Down on the Upside" CD. That pissed me off so much. The Misfits are too grunge for you, but you like Nirvana and Soundgarden? 10 years later that still fucking bothers me.

Remember from before when I mentioned that I had some pretty fucked up dreams? Well, I had this one the other night that started off like any average dream. Lots of normal things with the occasional out of place thing. Like I'm on a farm but I don't know how I got there. Everything else is normal, except for the flying cows and dogs. Anyways, long story short, a very normal dream ends up with an NFL offensive lineman jerking off onto me. One minute it's a good dream, the next it's a nightmare.

If you have a dream during the morning hours and it ends up being bad, would that be called a "morningmare"? If it isn't night time, can it still be a nightmare? Or is it just a "bad dream"? And if that's the case, can you have bad dreams during the night? Or would it automatically fall into the "nightmare" category? But, if nightmares and bad dreams during the night time are different and not the same thing, what makes them different?

Can Ya Feel Me?

This is the type of fridge that I need. 12 foot high and packed with beer. All kinds of beer. Of course I'd have to go through and arrange them all alphabetically. Hopefully there would be a few pumpkin ales. I fucking love pumpkin flavored beer. I know, I know, it's kinda queer, but fuck you. I like that shit. Hey, by the way, what's the ratio of a pumpkin's circumference to it's diameter? Pumpkin Pi of course.

RIP Chris Henry

It is with a heavy heart that I am posting today. I am very saddened by the loss of Cincinnati Bengals WR Chris Henry. Now, I talk about being from Chicago, but that's a front. I don't want anyone tracking me down because I have some offensive stuff on this blog. But I am an Ohio native. I live in Ohio, and I am a huge Cincinnati Bengals fan. This may be the only time you see a serious side of me for awhile on this blog. Chris Henry will be missed greatly. And I hope that everyone who reads this, will keep his fiancee, his children, his family both off the field and on the field in their thoughts and prayers. R.I.P #15

Funniest Fucking Joke

OK, I had to post this joke. I got this from one of my new favorite blogs, www.pedophilejokes.blogspot.com. There is also a link at the bottom of my page if you want to check the site out. Anyways, here it is.........

Q. What do you do after you rape a 12 year old deaf, dumb, and blind girl?

A. Break her fingers so she can't tell her mom.

I think that with the release of the new Windows software we are going to be seeing a lot of this in our futures.

10 Sports Figures We Can Do WITHOUT

OK, time for another Top 10 List. This is a list of the Top 10 Sports Figures we can do without.

1. Bruce Jenner - Too much plastic surgery. He looks like a broad now. And speaking of broads, aren't his step-daughters, the Kardashians some hot pieces of ass?! Too bad they like the black cock.
2. Alex Rodriguez - OK, I wrote this originally before the most recent world series, but he didn't make that big of a difference, so let's pay this guy loads of money to FUCK UP every season. Madonna Fucker!!
3. Joe Sackic - How does one of the best hockey players ever break his fingers in a "snow blower incident"?
4. Peyton Manning - Hello, I speak like Forest, Forest Gump. I threw a pass to Jen-nay.
5. Elisha (Eli) Manning - I'm Peyton's retarded little brother, ha ha. *Ding* Waffles!!
6. Johnny Damon - The biggest traitor in recent MLB history. The city of Boston should cut his balls off!
7. Stephon Marbury - Why hasn't this man been killed by any of his team mates yet?
8. Terrell Owens - Just like Skip Bayless says, he is Team Obliterator. And as much I hate the fucking Cowboys I'd hate to see him tear another team (Buffalo Bills) apart. Fucking Nigger.
9. Ian Thorpe - Hey Thorpedo! Go home, you're Michael Phelps' bitch now. Maybe you should smoke a little green too, ya asshole!
10. "Macho Man" Randy Savage - He wouldn't even be on the list if he hadn't put out a rap album. And a shitty rap album at that. Just another lame white guy now.

Honorable mention

• New York Yankees - Fuck the entire team of these over-paid pussy losers. Maybe Team Obliterator should join the Yankees. Fuck their whole world up.
• Ed Hochuli - Or Ed Cockuli as I like to call him. If this ref fucks up another big call, we might have to kill him.
• Tiger Woods - Originally I had Mike Brown in this slot, but my Cincinnati Bengals are doing well right now and I don't want to jinx it. HAHA, good bye Gatorade, who's next? I hope the pussy was worth it you douche bag!

Heads Up

Anyone out there brew their own beer? I am really into that, and it's pretty damn fun. The best part is when you actually get to drink it after the long process. If anyone else out there is into brewing their own beer drop me a line. I'd love to hear some stories and exchange tips and so forth. Cool.

Check this out, this is Carrot Top. The comedian that uses stupid props. He is a monster! He isn't very funny anymore, but he looks like he could kick my ass so I won't make fun of him. But he should really pull his pants up. We don't need to see his manscaped fire bush.

Earlier I mentioned two (2) important things. One, my fondness of road rage, and two, my hatred towards Jews for ruining Christmas. I wish I could road rage on some big nosed Jew bastards. Just roll up on one of them in their Benz and unload a sawed off shot gun at them. I don't necessarily want to kill them, but I would like to seriously fuck them up. Then make them eat some unkosher meats. And on a side note, why would a Jew drive a Mercedes-Benz? Aren't they German cars? Hey, fuck them, they killed Jesus!

Just thought I'd give you folks something to think about. The top picture is kinda weak, but I like the one below it with the Wilford Brimley photo shop action. It's pretty funny.

WOO HOO!!

Isn't this the most bad ass game ever?! And if you look, the characters on the cover of Contra were definitely modeled after Commando and Rambo. Two of my favorite movies and video game on the same picture. This is awesome!

The Boy Next Door

My girlfriend has a neighbor, we'll call him "Hep Head Bob", and the guy can be a drunken asshole sometimes. One day when I have explosive diarrhea I want to bend over in front of his front door and blow liquid shit all over his front door and porch. Or knock first and wait until he opens the door. Blow liquid shit all over his feet. Fuck That Guy! On a side note, I'd also like to shit on the windshield of his car.

What up, Dog?!

This is fucking hilarious, Cool Dog. I love these fucking motivational posters. I am hoping to get more of them up in a special posting. Plus the little cartoon with the Bad Dog is funny too!

Strangely now I am hungry, but I don't know why......

Smoke Crack?

Here is something fun to try, get a bag of crack (not sure how to do this part) and put it on the ground. Then take a shit on it. Have your friends shit on it too. Then let some black crack head dig through the shit to get the crack. After he finds it, hit him with a stun gun and call him a nigger as you take the crack from him. Then push his face in the shit and take the crack. Seriously, try it!

HUH?

Fuck cripples, I don't talk about them much. Fuck cripples and fuck the handicapped. It's bullshit that you get your own parking spots. If you're that fucked up, maybe you shouldn't be driving. You retarded ass bullshit artist motherfuckers.

My girlfriends son once said he wanted to cut a racoon's head off and fuck it's body. What a sick twisted wigger motherfucker.

Hey guys, did you ever wonder what happens when your girlfriend/wife goes goes to a "Tupperware" party? Well now you know. Don't believe me? If your woman hosts the party, check the dish washer afterwards. Hell, put up some hidden cameras if you can. I wonder where they were putting that big black one on the bottom shelf? Eeew!

On The Road Again

Shhh don't tell anybody, but I love to ROAD RAGE. I love yelling and screaming at motherfuckers when I'm rolling around. If I had a firearm of some sort, that would be fantastic! I'd be capping motherfuckers left and right. WORD to the steering wheel! Better stay the fuck out of the way of my machine. Or you might get god damned gunned down.

More Anger

Here is something that pisses me off. When people don't use the correct form of the words There/Their/They're. OK, it's real simple. THERE shows that it is a place or location. "It was sitting over THERE." Now, THEIR shows possession. "That dog is THEIR dog." OK, last one, THEY'RE is a contraction of the words They and Are. It's easy. "THEY'RE coming with us." Does that clear it up any? Alright, one last example, this time it will combine all 3! "THEY'RE taking THEIR belongings over THERE." Easy. It's easy necca, it's easy!

In case you haven't noticed I'm throwing these Motivational Posters at you today. I love these fucking things.

This is a pretty good one too. I've only seen it once, so I grabbed it to show it off!!

I don't think I have to say much about this one. You either like it and agree or you don't.

This is so horrible on a few different levels, but I like it. Besides, chances are that neither of these guys put those bruises on the woman's face. It's just funnier that way, assuming the guy with the big macho goatee did. Hey, she's still hot even with the bruises. Big titties and everything. I'd let her play with my balls.

I kinda like this pic of Obama. It's cool, it pokes a little fun at him, and it does it without being overly racist. Hey, read my shit, you know I don't have a problem with racism, but you have to be creative about it too. You see all these stupid Obama pics that have to do with watermelons, and fried chicken, and food stamps. All kinds of Obama nigger jokes and shit. That's too easy. I can go around saying "Obama is a nigger, yay!!" But where is the creativity in that? There isn't any. So...smoke up people. And use your fucking creativity for crying out loud!!

Sight For Sore Eyes

I saw this video online the other day of a guy jerking off into some chick's eyes. I was nearly appalled by this. How much did they have to pay her for her to let them cum in her eyes? I'll admit it, I have watched some twisted shit online, and I don't mind if you cum in a girl, on a girl, one her head, face, hair, ass, back, feet, legs, stomach, veejay, hands, in her mouth, but I draw the fucking line at In Her Eyes. It was terrible, she just held her eyes open. I almost couldn't watch it.

I was involved with something like this once. I had this girlfriend that didn't like to get cum in her mouth. She was all prissy about it. So to give her some practice she wanted me to bang her like normal, but when I was about to cum she wanted me to scoot up and put my dick in her mouth and just blow my load. It was easier for her that way because she also didn't like to suck dick either. So in essence she had to do no work this way, imagine that. Anyway, I approaching that point and as I try to scoot up my left foot slips off the bed and I start to fall and my aim goes up and to the right. I shot that first big rope into her left eye. I felt so awful. But at the same time I was in the middle of an orgasm, so I didn't know what to do. I just kept jerking my cock while I apologized the whole time. Her eye got pink and a little puffy. It was all irritated looking. I really felt bad. She was cool, and realized if she wasn't so prissy all the time it wouldn't have happened. So basically I'm saying it was her fault. I don't feel bad about it anymore, in fact I think it's quite funny. And I hope you do too!

Hey we all know Dr. Phil is full of shit. He isn't even really a Doctor, is he? Probably not. I but I do love looking at this goofy motherfucker. So I am probably the one that needs help. But I can live with that.

Hey folks, just trying to help keep everyone healthy.

What the....?

I recently did some laundry and I was getting dressed the other day, and I grabbed a pair of clean underwear from my hamper. That's right, my clean shit is still in the hamper. I just happened to pull out one of my very few pairs of tighty whiteys. So I go to put them on and the whole front is ripped out of them!! I'm staring at the undies wondering what the fuck happened? So I put them on anyway just for a goof. They felt pretty good. It was like going commando up front, but I still had enough on my butt to keep shit stains out of my jeans. Ha!