What do you think of this name: Colby or Kolby? Isn't it the stupidest fucking name ever? Especially for a guy. First of all it's a cheese for crying out loud. I'd either use my middle name or walk into a police station with a loaded assault rifle. Suicide by Police. That would be the way to go.

Now, on the topic of suicide again, even though I don't condone it, I figure that as long as people are going to do it, they should make it entertaining for the rest of us. Like if a guy strapped raw meat to himself and jumped into the Polar bear exhibit at the zoo. That would be fun, plus the children would learn a valuable lesson in the process. Although if the bear was sleeping he'd have to get the Bear's attention. And I bet if he tried sticking his hand up the Bear's ass he'd get it's attention for sure! I don't think he last much longer after. Or if your a white person, you could go up to a gang of black bikers and call them all niggers. See how long it takes them to beat you to death. And just as a goof you could keep pointing at your watch and say "I thought you fag biker pussies would have killed me by now. I am not impressed!"

One time in elementary school someone told us about MIMAL. If you look at a map of the United States, Minnesota, Iowa, Missouri, Arkansas, and Louisiana all in a row form the shape of a man named MIMAL. Well I say if this is true, then Tennessee ought to be his pecker. If you notice, it seems to be strategically place. Go ahead check it our if you don't believe me.

OK, check this out. I work for a company that helps people who are interested in furthering their education, obtain college degrees or diplomas in specific career fields. I used to work in the online division. that's courses in which the student participates by taking classes online. Not in a classroom, but online. Do you know how many times I had people wanting to take a Massage Therapy class online? They actually wanted to learn how to massage a human being via the internet. Doesn't it seem to you that if you wanted to learn how to massage a human being you might need to have some kind of interaction with human beings? Am I out of line with this? Would you let a guy paint your house if he never did it before?He got a piece of paper of the internet. His computer told him it was OK. I think you get the point.

Here is something special for all you people who are so full of cheer you can't help but spread it around to everyone else: Fuck You! I don't need you to dictate my disposition for the day. I'm not in denial. I don't need to be cheerful and happy all day, everyday. So grow up Peter Pan and put your head in the real world. I don't think you are necessary for the survival of this planet. So either do us all a favor and be a real person or open a vein. Those are your 2 options. Pick one.

This kinda goes back to my question of whether anyone likes phoniness. Emotions are ok. Don't deny yourself of that. It's perfectly normal AND ok to be frustrated or angry or sad. Being a perennial smiley face or cheerful robot is not just completely ridiculous, but you also deprive yourself of something that life has to offer. Of course you could always just go fuck yourself too.

You know what I'm getting tired of? These people that get surprised when wild animals attack. Not the ones actually out in the wild, if you fuck with a bear you deserve to get your ass killed. I'm talking about these people with trained animals. Some guy sticks his head in an alligator's mouth and it clamps down on him. Fuck him. Or some homo magician has a pet tiger in his act and the thing bites his throat. Fuck him. Why do you think they're called wild animals people? And on that note I say Fuck Steve Irwin too! He got what he had coming to him. And I hope his little dumbass daughter suffers the same fate. You have to remember that this earth has been around a lot longer that civilization, and mother nature knows what's best. Don't fuck with her or her simple creatures. She'll kick your ass!

If you stick your pecker through a chain link fence and let a dog lick it while you jerk off, is that considered Beastiality?

You know what I'm getting tired of? People that can't pronounce the 'L' in certain words. You hear this when people say Volkswagen. They pronounce it Vokswagen, without the L. Another time this happens is when people say the name Palmer. It gets pronounced Pamer. This annoys the shit out of me. More to follow on this topic, I'm sure.

In a deck of card, who decided that the Ace, which is basically a 1, is the highest card? Have you ever thought of that? Doesn't that go against some basic ideal of logic?

I once read in Playboy that if you push real hard on the taint area while having an orgasm that it would redirect your jizz to your bladder, giving you essentially a jizzless orgasm. I tried this once, and it worked. I was amazed. However the second time I tried it, it worked, or so I thought. I had what I thought was a jizzless orgasm, but afterward as I lay there in bed, the jizz came dribbling out of my cock. All over myself. Fuck that. I don't need that messy bullshit.

A few random thoughts for you.

Straight guys do some gay shit.

Straight guys talk about some gay shit.

I don't think there are any benefits to being a cocky, arrogant, smart ass, but it is pretty fun.

I hear that I am condescending a lot. Fuck those simple minded cretins.

Is anyone a fan of phoniness? I didn't think so.

Have you ever wondered what would happen if you poked a hole in your taint?I have. It seems to me like it would hurt a lot more than if you poked a hole in your arm. I'm just talking about a small hole, like a pin or a needle. Not a big ass knife or dagger. Just a small prick. Come to think of it, I think some people do enjoy a nice "prick" to the taint.

And on the subject of taints, don't you hate it when you have an itch on your taint and you can't scratch it because you are wearing jeans or a nice pair of slacks or any other kind of thick pants that you can't scratch through? I hate that, don't you?

Fuck a donkey in the ass, fuck a donkey very fast. Thank You.

I often think about George Carlin's old bits on euphemisms, and I agree. Euphemistic language had gotten way out of control. Just though I'd let you know that.

I wonder how many people that commit suicide have second thoughts about it when its too late to change their mind? Like a guy who hangs himself, he kicks the chair, or whatever he is standing on, out from underneath himself and as he swings there struggling, he realizes "shit, this wasn't a good idea and the chair is too far away, this is the end for real!"

And on the topic of suicide, I used to think people who commit suicide were just taking the pussy route out of their problems. But then I thought about it some more and I realized that it would take some balls to off yourself. I could never do it. At least I don't think I could. So taking that into consideration, I think maybe I will revert back to my assumption that it IS taking the pussy way out.

Don't you hate it when it feels like you have to make a bowel movement but you can't? Not neccessarily being constipated, but just an odd feeling down below.

Money can't buy happiness, but money can buy frivolous bullshit. And frivolous bullshit does tend to make me happy.

Hey, you can't spell happiness without piness, and that sounds an awful lot like penis.

I have a theory, I'm not sure how much credence to put into this, but as I said, it's just a theory. I theorize that most/all men (hetero) put women into 2 main categories. One they'd fuck and ones they wouldn't. But don't worry ladies, if you have knockers and a vagina, you are probably in the category of ones they'd fuck. Because guys will fuck anything if they think they'll get away with it.

You know what's kinda cool, but kinda sucks? I am looking to get a new car and the type of car that I am interested in is something like a Ford Crown Victoria, or a Mercury Grand Marquis. I know they're basically the same thing, but that's what I want so fuck you. Anyways, these cars are considered "old man" cars. Well I'm already kind of crotchety at times, I think I might just settle into "Old Mandom" at an early age. Fuck it, I'm looking forward to being an old man. I think I will be a hip old man. Or an asshole. Hopefully both I guess.

Hey, in the last Metal Gear Solid installment, Solid Snake was an old man, and he is still cool in my book. Fuckin' A, Solid Snake is a bad motherfucker.

What's up with black chicks wearing hair weaves and stuff? Do black guys find this shit attractive? I sure don't. There are too many people who need fake hair for logical AND sane reasons. Why would somebody who has real hair want to cover it up? Or add fake phony shit to it? I think this should stop.

Check this out, I work in an office building and if you just sit and listen, you will over hear some stupid shit. The stuff people will talk about just to kill time is ridiculous. This stupid fucking mindless chatter. No wonder I keep to myself. People always ask me why I'm so quiet, Because I don't feel like being part of the mindlessness. Now listen, I don't think of myself as above everyone else, I would just rather destroy my mind in other ways. Funner ways. Like drugs and alcohol. Not hardcore drugs. Just the light weight stuff like weed.

.....Someone was just blowing smoke up my ass about Irish immigrants and stuff. And i thought to myself, What is going on here? What is happening? I don't know. Maybe I fell into a vortex. At least it feels that way sometimes. Like I notice shit that other people don't. Or they're too docile to question it. I hate to be the type of person that starts shit, but sometimes man........shit just don't seem right. It's not drugs either, son don't just quickly assume that.

Ever wanted to just slap the shit out of someone? For no reason?