I will leave you with something sweet today.

This is completely uncalled for, but a lot of fun to watch. No seriously, I find this hilarious. Aren't all stereotypes based off of some truth? Well......here it is. The only thing missing is the fried chicken. He should have a big bucket of Popeye's with him too.

How do you like this shit? They didn't need bailed out. The didn't have to sell out to Fiat. They didn't have to close down a division or two of their companies. Built Ford Tough means a whole lot more now doesn't it? Domestic car manufacturers aren't dead yet.

What is this all about? I think I know this guy.......on second thought maybe I don't. I hope not.

I'm just joking, none of that story below really happened.

Story Time

I've got a story to tell you about. Something that happened just the other day. I was driving to my girlfriends house and some guy was walking his dog. A little Pomeranian or something. You know, one of those little, furry, white, yippy, yappy, faggy dogs. Some how it got away from him. It was too powerful for him to handle. So I slam on my brakes as it runs out into the street in front of me. I don't even come close to hitting it but the owner starts yelling and screaming at me like I did something wrong. Cussing at me, telling me to watch how I'm driving. This really pissed me off, so I get out of my car and ask what the fuck he is talking about. I was driving like I am allowed to, he let his dog run out into the street. I was like "Are you insane?!" So now we're both out in the street yelling at each other as cars are driving by, and he is slowly taking steps backward as he holds onto his dog. I am slowly taking steps forward too. Still yelling at each other. Well he gets to the curb and trips over it and falls backward. He loses his dog again, and I notice this and I step on the leash as his dog starts to run away. I pick up the leash and draw the dog to me and then pick up the shitty little dog. He stands up just glaring at me. I say "Here's your dog, I saved it again." He just snapped back "Give me my fucking dog you fucking animal!" I was in shock! So I said "Oh yeah? Here is an animal!" And I punted the little fucker. I sent that dog yelping through the air. I couldn't believe what I had just done.I just punted a fucking dog onto some one's front lawn. The dude's eyes started to tear up, and he ran after his dog. I ran to my car and got the fuck out of there.

Something I've Noticed

Have you ever noticed that just about every car manufacturer has an SUV that is the Green/Gold combination in color? The top part is green and some part of the bottom is gold. Why is that? Every manufacturer it seems. I think I know why. They're for black people. They like the colors green and gold. Green is the color of money and gold is the color of 'dey teeff.

Laziness

Now onto laziness.OK, have you heard about Gibson's (relatively) new Robot Guitar? The thing tunes itself. That's half the fun, trying to keep the bastard in tune while you're beating on it. Now you don't even have to do that. Also, are you familiar with the One Touch Down power window system? To me its enough that we went from manual windows to power windows, but with the OTD all you have to do is press the window button once and it goes down on its own. That's not the worst part. Now I've heard people bitch because there is no One Touch Up! Where does it end? If holding out a single finger and moving your arm forward for about 4 seconds is too much work for you, then just stay home. It might be too much work for you to drive responsibly as well.

Useless Junk

Can anyone tell me why we have 24 hour porn shops? Or scented toilet paper? I can't go to Best Buy at 4:00am to buy a Motley Crue CD if I want to, but I can go to a porn shop at 4:00am to buy some SheMale porn and 8 dildos if I want to. And it shouldn't matter what your toilet paper smells like, because when you're done using it, it smells like shit anyways! Now this shows our need, as a culture in this society, for useless junk. None of this shit is necessary.

Excessive

Why do we have so many Starbucks? In a country where people are bitching and breaking their balls over gas prices, we still have enough money to buy $5 cups of coffee. I think we could probably eliminate half of these establishments and still not have any trouble finding one. This is a good example of our need, as a culture in this society, for excess. That's not healthy.