Random Thoughts

Do you ever just fucking hate somebody? For no reason perhaps? Maybe you have a reason, but it's petty and stupid, so what. Fuck 'em. You should just beat the fuck out of that person and tell them that you hate them the entire time. Then when you're done and they ask why, just tell them your shitty reason. Fuck 'em if it doesn't make sense. That will teach them to fuck with your emotions. Make them think twice the next time around.

Check this out, this is funny as shit. The other day, on the Internet, I saw a woman doing a chicken in the egg chute with a vibrator. Yeah a vibrator in the egg chute!! This world is fucked!!

Here is something that I've been saying to people that piss me off. "Do you want to borrow my credit card, so you can go rent a hotel room so you can hang yourself in the closet? So housekeeping finds your retarded ass?"

HA!

Need I say more?

They forgot to label a section, 'Jizz All Over Here'.

I saved this picture back before Christmas to show everyone, but I can't remember why I saved it. Apparently they are smelling each other's panties. That's kinda hot I guess.

Just one of the many reasons I fucking love beer!!

Ain't it the fucking truth!!

My buddy "Lomas" procured this pic for me. I literally laughed out loud when I saw it so i felt obliged to share it with ya'll too. Hope you like it.

Thanks Lomas!

Beside football, one of my favorite things to watch on T.V. is 'House'. So I have included this for all of you. It isn't as funny as the staring contest with Xzibit, but it's funny none the less.

For all of you 'Back to the Future' fans out there, here is a scene from 'Black to the Future'. What the fuck is this guy even doing?!

Gunnery Sergeant R. Lee Ermey, this guy is my Homey that doesn't know me. I loved this guy in Full Metal Jacket, and he has his own show on the History Channel called 'Lock and Load'. It's a great show too. So get down and give him 20 you homo! Then just get down and boogie!

Isn't this one of the most horrible things you've ever seen? I first thought this might be photo shop, but after staring at it in disbelief for a few minutes, I have determined that it is not......unfortunately.

P.S. The one on the bottom in the middle kinda looks like the Batman logo doesn't it?

Now that I'm finally back to work, it's time to put in my fair share. 100% every week!

Are you familiar with this Worcestershire sauce? I fucking hate the name, how do you pronounce it? You hear people pronounce it 8 different damn ways. Fuck it! Fuck all that shit. They should call it Shitty Ass Tasting sauce instead. Fuck it. You should pour some on a kid with Autism and let a handful of retards lick it off of him. And they can fight over who gets to lick it off of him first.

Funny Title With "Retard" In It

I know it's sick, but I love watching retards fight. However it ends up, everybody wins. They drool on each other and when they cuss, it's amazing! I love, love, love that shit.

On a related subject, back when I was in High School, I went to a career center to study Automotive Repair. Well this dude named "Tony" and I got there earlier than most of the other guys, so we would sit at the same table every day and shoot the shit. Well one day this low-functioning individual wanders over and sits at our table. No big deal. I feel he is harmless, he just stares at us kinda funny, that's all. Never says a damn word though. A few weeks go by then a month or two, still he never talks. So one day "Tony" is running his mouth and I say "SHIT!" As in bullshit, I'm calling bullshit on his comment. And the low-functioning guy decides to say it too. In his retard voice he says "SHIT!" "Tony" and I were stunned, this fucker sits with us for almost two months and then finally says something and it's an obscenity. But it was funny as hell! For the rest of the school year he would contribute to all of our conversations. He would add a "SHIT!" whenever he felt it was necessary. Eventually we would just say stupid stuff to him to hear him say "SHIT!" It was great. "Hey, I'm gonna rip your arm off and beat you with it." "SHIT!" I wonder if this tardy tard ever went home and cussed at his parents? They probably would have locked him back up in his closet. Because that's what happens to some of these people. Human beings get locked in closets and shit. It's terrible. Imagine a grown human being forced into a small confined area, possibly littered with feces, and it's only because they aren't fully developed mentally. These parents ought to be slowly tortured to death. I don't care how you do it as long as they suffer. I love retards. There, I said it.

Yes, I'm Pissed

OK, I've said this before. I am from Ohio and I am a Cincinnati Bengals fan. And if you follow the NFL at all, you may know that they made it to the playoffs this year and lost in the first round. Well, two years ago for Christmas my mom got me this cool orange and black Bengals hoodie. It's cool as shit. The hood is orange and has the six blacks stripes like their helmets do. So when I have me hood on, it's a mock helmet for me. Again, I live in Ohio so it's FUCKING COLD this time of year and I wear the hoodie everywhere. I am so fucking sick of people, for one thing asking me, "Oh, are you a Bengals fan?" No I'm not, I just really want to fuck a tiger so I'm settling for this hoodie until an opportunity presents itself. After I answer that question they follow it up with, "I'll bet you're pissed that they lost, aren't you?" What else could my answer be other than "Yes I am"? Should I say, "No, I've been a Bengals fan for 29 years now and I've bled and cried orange and black for 29 years now, but when they finally fucking make it back to the fucking playoffs I uncharacteristically start rooting for the other fucking team. So I'm happy they lost." I wish I had a taser or a stun gun or something. I'd zap some reality into these fuckfaces. Some people just really need to get a fucking clue. YES, I'M PISSED.

Party Time

The other day I was driving behind a guy in an old Chevy S-10 pickup and he had party plates. For those of you that are out of the loop, "Party Plates" are the yellow with red letter license plates that you get after too many DUIs. So I'm behind this dick and he's driving kind of erratic. And I'm thinking, if you drive like this sober, you must really be a shitty driver when you're drunk. No wonder you get pulled over so much. And he was on his way to Speedway (gas station) just to go to the red box video rental kiosk. He was swerving through traffic to get to a dollar a day movie rental. Come to think of it, he may have been drunk then too. Plus he was looking around kinda shifty too after he got out of his car. He probably saw my white Crown Vic and got nervous. The government ought to make that fuck ride a scooter. I'll bet the slow guy at work that rides a scooter is responsible enough to drive a car, he just doesn't have the funds to get one. They should make them swap vehicles. Boo-Yah! That would be real street justice.

Funny Bumper Sticker

Here is a good idea for a bumper sticker. And by the way I know being Autistic isn't the same as being retarded. You take the word Autism and put it in big bright vibrant letters, then underneath it you put "is for retards" in little letters. Wouldn't that be great? At first glance you'd see the big Autism letters and think "Aw isn't that nice? They support Autism." Then when you get close, you see the rest. AUTISM is for retards. Ha! Fuck 'em!

AUTISM

Is For Retards

Come Again?

Sometimes when foreign people talk to me, it just pisses me off. Especially when they get upset because I don't understand what the fuck it is that they are trying to say. Sorry, fuck you, it's not my fault you don't speak English in America. I just wanna tell the assholes to go home and hang themselves in their closets. And I hope their children find them as they're swinging. You no good god damn fucking foreign motherfuckers.

New Job

So I just got a new job and it scares me when I look around and see that they will pretty much hire anybody. Like, it doesn't make me feel very special. At all. I don't find myself to be very egotistical, but this realization was a huge blow to my ego. Tell you what I'm talking about. We just had a shitty week of snow, and it was hard enough just driving around in my car, and there was some weirdo driving a scooter! In the fucking snow! It was one of those scooters that looks like a sport bike from a distance but once you get up close to it, you see that it is a fucking scooter.

Then one day I'm in the break room eating my lunch, off by myself, minding my own bidniz (business). And I over hear a conversation by the table behind me. And it's a girl talking about how she has a photo shoot coming up in the next day or two. She was talking about her friend that is "stationed" (military I guess) in Germany and he has a studio of some kind. Anyway, he is coming to town and promised her that she will get to do her first photo shoot. So I'm listening, and wondering what she looks like. Silly me I was expecting a model or someone that looks close to that. Or even someone you might find attractive on some level. WRONG! She was some nasty, scrappy Goth Emo looking chick. She had this stringy, unclean, blonde hair, facial piercings, bad acne on her face, the big goofy over sized black jeans that are too big for anyone to seriously wear. And I'm willing to bet that she stinks too. Just from looking at her, I'd have to say that she stinks. I don't know for sure, because I don't want to get that close to her. So immediately my mind literally cringes. And I'm wondering what kind of photo shoot would she be doing? Will she be modelling coffins? Will she be modelling razor blades? Or demonstrating proper cutting techniques? "If you wanna be a cutter like me, you have to have proper technique. Just fallow these easy to do steps!"

Also one day when I was in the break room, I look up from my cell phone (I was playing Bejeweled) and I see this guy sneaking up on one of the vending machines. He was actually sneaking up on the vending machine, like he didn't want the machine to know he was coming. Anyway he puts his money in and pushes the soda button he wants and it gives him his soda. Well he starts to celebrate, "Oh Yeah! I got it!" He thinks the vending machine is an arcade game. Like it's a game of chance and he always wins. Another time he gets a soda, "Yes! Score!" like he won the game again. I wanna tell the guy, that he will always get the soda, but I wouldn't want to hurt the guy's feelings. Then the other day he shows up wearing this big goofy helmet, that looks like an astronaut helmet from the early sixties, and I realize he is the guy on the scooter! Needless to say, I want another job. This won't cut it long term.

Is This A Democracy?

Hey guys, regarding Guns N' Roses' most recent studio release, 'Chinese Democracy' it is worth a listen. I had to listen to it 8, 9, 10 times or so for it to grow on me. But it did. It's a good overall CD, but it isn't Guns N' Roses. My brother says otherwise. Since none of the other Guns N' Roses CDs sound the same, this one has a place of it's own. And he's right, kinda. Although the others don't sound the same, you can still tell Slash is playing guitar. In other words, the CDs may not sound the same, but at least it sounds like the same band. Slash's riffs and solos are unique, and that isn't to be found on 'Chinese Democracy'. To me Velvet Revolver sounds more like what Guns N' Roses should sound like, for that reason. It's an entire band. 'Chinese Democracy' is (Hired) Guns N' (Axl) Roses. It's like when Motley Crue released their one album without Vince Neil. It was an awesome CD but by no means was it a Motley Crue CD. Besides the fact that Vince Neil didn't sing on it, it was heavier than most Motley albums. So basically what I'm saying is, the name is the same, but the content is different. So let the buyer beware, but it is worth listening to. So is Motley Crue's CD, 'Motley Crue'.

Notable tracks to listen to;

• 1. Chinese Democracy
• 2. Shackler's Revenge
• 3. Better
• 4. Street of Dreams
• 5. If the World
• 9. Riad N' the Bedouins

Inspirational Quote

I came across this Inspirational/Motivational quote recently and thought I'd share it with you.

"If Money Is Your Hope For Independence You Will Never Have It. The Only Real Security That A Man Will Have In This World Is A Reserve Of Knowledge, Experience, and Ability."

That was a quote by Henry Ford. I hope you enjoyed it.