Fuck You, Football is On

Since that time of the year is upon us and Football season is a mere couple weeks away. This is for my football fans out there. You men might be the only ones that understand what I'm saying here, but I think it's important to say. When football is on and I'm watching it, leave me the fuck alone. I have tunnel vision and you aren't in my line of sight. Especially if I'm watching the Bengals. I'll be so engrossed in what's going on that people will be talking to me and I don't even know it. And please, please, please, don't try to hold a serious conversation with me. I am not paying attention! I don't even like to drink when I'm watching Cincinnati play because it diverts too much of my attention away from the game. And something that really makes me go ape shit is when my girlfriend invites people over and they think it's a social function. I don't give a shit, I'm watching football. But what really pisses me off is when other people come over and my girlfriend actually goes outside to smoke (instead of just standing by the open door) because then I'm left alone to entertain our guests. And I don't want to. It's too hard to pretend like I give a shit, and pretend to listen, while I'm paying full attention to the T.V. I'm going "uh huh, oh great, yeah that's nice......YES! FUCK YOU!! Touch Down! I'm sorry, what were you saying? I was listening to Phil Simms and Jim Nantz, not you." You get it now? Are you picking up what I'm putting down?