Now I'm Burning

I'm not sure if any of you are familiar with Jim Rome is Burning on ESPN. But Jim Rome is a sportscaster who has is own show (obviously) and the beginning segment of his show is four or five current sport topics that he is "burning" on. So I'd like to introduce my rip-off version of that. I'm not necessarily burning on these subjects, they just bug the shit out of me or they piss me off.

• Black People With Mexican Names - Every black guy I have ever met with a name like Jose, Juan, Manuel, Emmanuel, and so on have been annoying motherfuckers. This needs to stop. Or I am going to have to hurt some of these dickheads.
• Ball Zits - Ever get a zit on your ball sack? I fucking hate that. And by the way it doesn't happen often, maybe once a year. But you'll be feeling around and "oh shit, I found a lump" but then as you squeeze it, shit squirts out of it. Gross.
• Chipped Tooth - The other day I slightly chipped my tooth while biting my nails. I shouldn't be biting my nails first of all, but I chipped a tooth in the process of doing it. What a fit of anger that caused.
• Featuring - Why are all of these fucking songs we see videos for and hear on the radio have to be Someone (featuring so and so)? Doesn't anybody perform their own songs by themselves anymore? Fuck that, that's stupid.
• Munt/Mumf - Have you noticed that this is how black people say the word month? Why? Why? Why is that? It isn't that hard. Month. Read it, month, it's not that hard. I forgot to do something this munt. What? I'll see you next mumf. What? Just stop talking please.