So I just got a new job and it scares me when I look around and see that they will pretty much hire anybody. Like, it doesn't make me feel very special. At all. I don't find myself to be very egotistical, but this realization was a huge blow to my ego. Tell you what I'm talking about. We just had a shitty week of snow, and it was hard enough just driving around in my car, and there was some weirdo driving a scooter! In the fucking snow! It was one of those scooters that looks like a sport bike from a distance but once you get up close to it, you see that it is a fucking scooter.
Then one day I'm in the break room eating my lunch, off by myself, minding my own bidniz (business). And I over hear a conversation by the table behind me. And it's a girl talking about how she has a photo shoot coming up in the next day or two. She was talking about her friend that is "stationed" (military I guess) in Germany and he has a studio of some kind. Anyway, he is coming to town and promised her that she will get to do her first photo shoot. So I'm listening, and wondering what she looks like. Silly me I was expecting a model or someone that looks close to that. Or even someone you might find attractive on some level. WRONG! She was some nasty, scrappy Goth Emo looking chick. She had this stringy, unclean, blonde hair, facial piercings, bad acne on her face, the big goofy over sized black jeans that are too big for anyone to seriously wear. And I'm willing to bet that she stinks too. Just from looking at her, I'd have to say that she stinks. I don't know for sure, because I don't want to get that close to her. So immediately my mind literally cringes. And I'm wondering what kind of photo shoot would she be doing? Will she be modelling coffins? Will she be modelling razor blades? Or demonstrating proper cutting techniques? "If you wanna be a cutter like me, you have to have proper technique. Just fallow these easy to do steps!"
Also one day when I was in the break room, I look up from my cell phone (I was playing Bejeweled) and I see this guy sneaking up on one of the vending machines. He was actually sneaking up on the vending machine, like he didn't want the machine to know he was coming. Anyway he puts his money in and pushes the soda button he wants and it gives him his soda. Well he starts to celebrate, "Oh Yeah! I got it!" He thinks the vending machine is an arcade game. Like it's a game of chance and he always wins. Another time he gets a soda, "Yes! Score!" like he won the game again. I wanna tell the guy, that he will always get the soda, but I wouldn't want to hurt the guy's feelings. Then the other day he shows up wearing this big goofy helmet, that looks like an astronaut helmet from the early sixties, and I realize he is the guy on the scooter! Needless to say, I want another job. This won't cut it long term.
