Are you familiar with this Worcestershire sauce? I fucking hate the name, how do you pronounce it? You hear people pronounce it 8 different damn ways. Fuck it! Fuck all that shit. They should call it Shitty Ass Tasting sauce instead. Fuck it. You should pour some on a kid with Autism and let a handful of retards lick it off of him. And they can fight over who gets to lick it off of him first.

Funny Title With "Retard" In It

I know it's sick, but I love watching retards fight. However it ends up, everybody wins. They drool on each other and when they cuss, it's amazing! I love, love, love that shit.

On a related subject, back when I was in High School, I went to a career center to study Automotive Repair. Well this dude named "Tony" and I got there earlier than most of the other guys, so we would sit at the same table every day and shoot the shit. Well one day this low-functioning individual wanders over and sits at our table. No big deal. I feel he is harmless, he just stares at us kinda funny, that's all. Never says a damn word though. A few weeks go by then a month or two, still he never talks. So one day "Tony" is running his mouth and I say "SHIT!" As in bullshit, I'm calling bullshit on his comment. And the low-functioning guy decides to say it too. In his retard voice he says "SHIT!" "Tony" and I were stunned, this fucker sits with us for almost two months and then finally says something and it's an obscenity. But it was funny as hell! For the rest of the school year he would contribute to all of our conversations. He would add a "SHIT!" whenever he felt it was necessary. Eventually we would just say stupid stuff to him to hear him say "SHIT!" It was great. "Hey, I'm gonna rip your arm off and beat you with it." "SHIT!" I wonder if this tardy tard ever went home and cussed at his parents? They probably would have locked him back up in his closet. Because that's what happens to some of these people. Human beings get locked in closets and shit. It's terrible. Imagine a grown human being forced into a small confined area, possibly littered with feces, and it's only because they aren't fully developed mentally. These parents ought to be slowly tortured to death. I don't care how you do it as long as they suffer. I love retards. There, I said it.

Yes, I'm Pissed

OK, I've said this before. I am from Ohio and I am a Cincinnati Bengals fan. And if you follow the NFL at all, you may know that they made it to the playoffs this year and lost in the first round. Well, two years ago for Christmas my mom got me this cool orange and black Bengals hoodie. It's cool as shit. The hood is orange and has the six blacks stripes like their helmets do. So when I have me hood on, it's a mock helmet for me. Again, I live in Ohio so it's FUCKING COLD this time of year and I wear the hoodie everywhere. I am so fucking sick of people, for one thing asking me, "Oh, are you a Bengals fan?" No I'm not, I just really want to fuck a tiger so I'm settling for this hoodie until an opportunity presents itself. After I answer that question they follow it up with, "I'll bet you're pissed that they lost, aren't you?" What else could my answer be other than "Yes I am"? Should I say, "No, I've been a Bengals fan for 29 years now and I've bled and cried orange and black for 29 years now, but when they finally fucking make it back to the fucking playoffs I uncharacteristically start rooting for the other fucking team. So I'm happy they lost." I wish I had a taser or a stun gun or something. I'd zap some reality into these fuckfaces. Some people just really need to get a fucking clue. YES, I'M PISSED.

Party Time

The other day I was driving behind a guy in an old Chevy S-10 pickup and he had party plates. For those of you that are out of the loop, "Party Plates" are the yellow with red letter license plates that you get after too many DUIs. So I'm behind this dick and he's driving kind of erratic. And I'm thinking, if you drive like this sober, you must really be a shitty driver when you're drunk. No wonder you get pulled over so much. And he was on his way to Speedway (gas station) just to go to the red box video rental kiosk. He was swerving through traffic to get to a dollar a day movie rental. Come to think of it, he may have been drunk then too. Plus he was looking around kinda shifty too after he got out of his car. He probably saw my white Crown Vic and got nervous. The government ought to make that fuck ride a scooter. I'll bet the slow guy at work that rides a scooter is responsible enough to drive a car, he just doesn't have the funds to get one. They should make them swap vehicles. Boo-Yah! That would be real street justice.