This is for my brother. Sorry bub, Spiderman is dead. That raid shit really works.

Good, Fuck 'Em

Have you noticed that the paparazzi have been getting beaten up lately by celebrities? Good, fuck 'em. Personally I don't give a rat's ass about celebrities personal lives, however a lot of people do. That's mindless isn't it? Is your life so bankrupt, that what's going on in the lives of people you've never met is actually that interesting to you? Not me. And I feel sorry for you if that's you. Besides, even celebrities are people and as people we all deserve our own personal space. Like at least a 2 foot diameter around you. If someone enters that personal area, penalize them for their violation. If it's on purpose anyways. If someone just bumps into you, don't beat the shit out of them. Same thing goes for celebrities. Personally I don't give a fuck about Gene Simmons, he's a cocksucker. But he had to penalize someone, and good for him too. Also I heard Amy Winehouse recently got into an altercation. Good for her too. I'm not sure why you would want to get that close to Amy Winehouse, because she looks like she might smell a little. Or a lot. But I digress. Bottom line, I want to see more celebrities beating the shit out of people. Then hopefully they'll start beating the shit out of each other. I'd take an interest in that!

Jaguar?

The other day I was at the Thrift Store and I saw a black guy wearing a service/maintenance uniform shirt and I swear his name was Jaguar. By the way, yes, I like to go thrifting. For one you never know what you'll find even if you find something you'll never use, you will more than likely buy something. And secondly I find it soothing. It's calming for me. So there you go. Anyways I think his name was Jaguar, like the animal. And I thought "Wow, only a black guy could pull that off." Seriously, that's my point. If you saw a black guy and his name was Jaguar, you'd think "Hey, that's a fucking cool name." If you saw a white guy named Jaguar you'd think "Wow what a douche bag. What a lame white asshole. How do you get a name like Jaguar?" That's what you'd say isn't it? I would if I was black. I'd change my name to Jaguar. I'd be a cool muthafucka!

These stamps are awesome, but they are only 39 cents. Guess I'll have to lick two of them!

These urinals are great. You know me, I'll take any opportunity to piss all over something beautiful.

This guy has the best FML story ever!!

I love Mythbusters, my brother got me into this shit. So here is the newest bestest Emoticon ever!!

Check this out, straight from motherfucking China the new designer motorcycle helmets! Look stylish as you cruise around like a douche bag with a fucking plastic bag over your child's head. That way when you crash, you can just scoop the kid up and you have a bag to carry him home in.

I want one of these! Hopefully this isn't just a concept car from the Detroit Auto Show.

Don't Fuck with Chuck!

Ever stole some retard's wheelchair and rode it down a flight of stairs? Well I haven't had the opportunity to do it yet either but it sounds like fun doesn't it? Actually the fun part would be pushing the retard sown the stairs and then riding down in their wheelchair and running them over. Fuck 'em, that would be a lot better than being locked away in their closet all day long.

Same thing goes for handi-capable people too. Some of them are victims of unfortunate accidents, but some of them did some really stupid shit that fucked themselves up. So target those assholes. Steal their parking spots. I'm sure most people can run faster than their motorized wheelchairs can go. So throw shit at them. Throw broomsticks in front of them like little shitty speed bumps. Or put the broomsticks in the spokes of their wheels, lock those bitches up. Fuck 'em they get special treatment anyways. Let them know you don't treat them like a cripple. You fuck with them like everybody else.

More proof that Apple is evil.

Yeah, yeah, Apple is evil.

I'm not sure here, but I think Apple may be evil.

This Might Be Gross Too

Do you know what a single gay guy does when he is horny? He shits in his hand and jacks off. You know what would be funny? Throw pieces of shit at a homo and yell at him. Say "Is this shit turning you on?!" Fuckin' doody monsters.

Check This Out

I guess you've noticed that by now, nothing is off limits to me. Gays, cripples, blacks, children, suicide, Jews, celebrities, sports figures, breaking the law, minorities in general or people's feelings, nothing really bothers me. Hey, I'm not prejudice, I hate everyone and everything equally. Oh, add AIDS to that list too. I can goof on AIDS as well. And just to prove it, over the next few updates I'm going to talk shit about each of the above. So fuck you, in fact, fuck everybody, here we go.