Greatest List Ever. EVER!

OK so this may be my coolest list ever. You all know I'm a big fan of random ass lists. Well, this may be a hard one for me to top, but I wanted to give you guys some gold after my long absence.

This is a list of Women Whom I'd Like To Stick My Finger In Their Butts.

So are ya ready?! Well here goes.....In no particular order.

1. NAME - Mila Kunis WHO IS SHE? - She was Jackie on 'That 70's Show' and she voices Meg Griffin on 'Family Guy' among other things. WHY HER? - She's a cute little Ukrainian broad and I like her voice. I'd imagine she was Meg while I Stick My Finger In Her Butt. If she tried to fit back I'd say "Shut up, Meg!"

2. NAME - Selena Gomez WHO IS SHE? - She is a young actress on the Disney Channel. Don't worry, she's 18 now. WHY HER? - I'm not really sure to be honest. But damn she's just cute as a fuckin' button. Maybe that's why. So I can ruin something pure.

3. NAME - Olivia Wilde WHO IS SHE? - She is an actress on 'House' she plays "13". Plus she was in the new 'Tron Legacy' movie. WHY HER? - She seems really tough. Like it would be a challenge to Stick My Finger In Her Butt. And I think I'm up for that challenge.

4. NAME - Lindsay Lohan WHO IS SHE? - A rehab prone actress. Just another fucked up child actor celebrity. She isn't as bad as Charlie Sheen though.......yet. WHY HER? - Because she's fucked up. She'd probably be into it. Plus she has freckles everywhere, and I'm curious about how much she is covered by them.

5. NAME - Audrina Patridge WHO IS SHE? - She was on 'The Hills' on MTV. I've never seen that show, so I'm not sure why I even know who she is. WHY HER? - I'm not sure about this one either, but when the Stick My Finger In Her Butt list came to mind, she was one of the first few I thought of.

6. NAME - Morgan Lander WHO IS SHE? - She is the singer/guitarist for the band Kittie. WHY HER? - Because! That's why! I have my reasons and they're mine, so fuck you. But if you must know, it's because I've had a crush on her since 1999 and she has a crazy vocal range while singing and I would want her to growl while I Stick My Finger In Her Butt, and make her scream into my penis like a microphone.

7. NAME - Milla Jovovich WHO IS SHE? - She was a model, now an actress and she does some cool sci-fi movies. She was Project Alice in the 'Resident Evil' movies. WHY HER? - It's just an infatuation that I have with her and her Project Alice character. When I Stick My Finger In Her Butt I'd say "That ain't no Zombie!"

8. NAME - Adriana Lima WHO IS SHE? - She is a model for Victoria's Secret. WHY HER? - Because having a Victoria's Secret model on this list doesn't sound like a bad idea. Plus she has the most beautiful piercing blue eyes. And I figure if she has great blue eyes, then I ought to inspect her brown eye too!

9. NAME - Jill Wagner WHO IS SHE? - She was once the spokesperson for Mercury. Now she is a co-host on the T.V. show 'Wipeout'. WHY HER? - From what I've seen of her on 'Wipeout' she seems like she'd be a fun individual. You know? Like she'd be a good sport about it. She'd be a good sport when I Stick My Finger In Her Butt.

10. NAME - Emma Watson WHO IS SHE? - She is an actress mostly known for her character Hermione Granger in the 'Harry Potter' movies. WHY HER? - Why not? She's hot and she portrays an iconic figure in a mega blockbuster movie franchise. And I'd like to wave my "wand" at her while I Stick My Finger In Her Butt.

As always I have a runners up section, if you will, to include. Here are the few that just missed out......

** NAME - Gisele Bundchen WHO IS SHE? - She is a world famous model and the wife of All Star quarterback Tom Brady. WHY HER? - So I could say "Hey Brady, you stole my haircut, now I have my Finger In Gisele's Butt!" That's the only reason.

** NAME - Cheryl Burke WHO IS SHE? - She is one of the professional dancers on 'Dancing With The Stars'. WHY HER? - She's hot and she's my favorite dancer on 'DWTS' and she was Ochocinco's partner when he was on the show. So I'd tweet Ocho and say "Hey 85 I just Stuck My Finger In Her Butt!"

** NAME - Kelly Osbourne WHO IS SHE? - Singer, talk show host and Ozzy's daughter. WHY HER? - Because she's Ozzy's daughter. She looks good now since she lost that weight. And I'd make her say dirty things in her English accent while I Stick My Finger In Her Butt.

So there you go. I hope you had as much fun reading this as I did writing it!!

P.S. - Finding pics online that would fit my format was NOT easy.

SO YOU BETTER FUCKING APPRECIATE THIS!!!